Oscar Speech

Hello and welcome to The 89th Academy Awards. Up next presenting are Academy Award winners Salle Ferry and Benzel Fashington. (crowd cheers)

Salle
Good Evening...Benzel has anyone ever compared you to Denzel Washington?
Benzel
huh?
Salle
I said has anyone ever compared you to Denzel Washington?
Benzel
 Has anyone ever compared you to Halle Berry?
Salle
I believe I'm asking the questions here (crowd laughs)
Benzel
And you are going to be answering them too...Now for the nominees for best actress in a leading role... (Crowd laughs)
Salle
Rowyn Huddlehouse "The Seven Tops" 
Shurely Yellowpants "The Gates Of Starships"
Jennifer Fragglerock "A Warm Winter"
Nina Nicole "Phone Murders"
and
Kate Buttersworth "The Companion"
(Crowd cheers)
Benzel
And the Academy goes to...
Benzel
(in disbelief)
Kate Buttersworth "The Companion"
(The crowd cheers)
Kate Buttersworth
(Cries and walks up to the stage to receive her Oscar)
Woman
Walks from the back and whispers in Salle's ear
Salle
(Quickly approaches Kate who is now at the podium) 
Sorry but there has been a misunderstanding on Benzel's end. He obviously doesn't have in his contacts tonight
Benzel
Huh?
Kate
What?
Salle
I am sorry there has been a terrible mistake the academy should have gone to Nina Nicole "Phone Murders". Sorry Kate.
NinaNicole
(Screams and then passes out)
Some Fine Man
(Rushes over to pick Nina Nicole up in his arms and carries her to the podium. NinaNicole appears to still be unconscious but manages to wink at the camera. Suddenly she jumps up out of his arms as if the act was a routine)
Sorry Kate....excuse me can I get right here please? Oh and I'll take this Oscar too...THANKS!
Kate
(Cries and leaves the award show)
NinaNicole
lol...Benzel Benzel Benzel. You got me... Anyway I would like to thank my.....
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
 Mom and Brother
 Manager
 Husband and children I love you, mommy will be home soon to cook you a grill cheese sandwich...unless daddy wants to cook again for the millionth time (Crowd laughs)
I want to thank the whole cast and crew
Martin I love you, you are the best
oh my who am I forgetting (the music starts to play but she doesn't seem to care)
my hairstylist
my manicurist
my my my um
the academy of course
my driver you are so sweet and always on time I love you
Jacob thank you so much for taking a few months out of your year to make my jewelry for tonight muah
THANK YOU EVERYONE!